newness :]

So I haven't really been on in a while. Actually, I haven't been on in quite a while. Here's the jist of what's happened so far...
I've moved to the coast to live with my aunt, uncle, and cousin so I can go to school and actually have a life. If I get accepted into SCI (for cosmetology) I start on October 20th. I applied at Party City yesterday. Hopefully I get the job. *crosses fingers, closes eyes* I'm still trying to organize my room and get unpacked; I'm almost there. :) I went to Fort Sam Cemetery to see my Dad. No matter what, that is always one of the hardest things to do in my life. It always has been and it always will be. I love being here with this part of my family. I can finally know the truth of everything and I don't have to live surrounded by lies wrapped in pain. I can find out who I am and who I'm becoming by myself. :) October 4th was the eighth year anniversary of my father's death. They say that time heals all wounds, but I know that it really doesn't, and I have found many people that agree with me. It never heals, but you do get stronger. I myself am finally starting to find some semblance of peace. I can only hope that my soul grows and strenthens with the love and care of those around me and that I can open up fully to accept that. I wish to find the same joy and happiness that I see in those around me. There is one thing that keeps me strong and helps me daily, and we should all remember what that is. Hope. :)
"Hope is what guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night..."

Third New Moon Trailer (No Copyright Infringement Intended)

This is the final trailer released by Summit Entertainment for the next installment in the Twilight Saga movies, New Moon. Ths was officially aired at the 2009 MTV VMAs. It was presented by Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, and Robert Pattinson.

Second New Moon Trailer (No Copyright Infringement Intended)

This is the second trailer released by Summit Entertainment for the next installment in the Twilight Saga movies, New Moon. In this trailer Taylor Lautner talks about his role as Jacob and the movie.

First New Moon Trailer (No Copyright Infringement Intended)

This is the first trailer released by Summit Entertainment for the next installment in the Twilight Saga movies, New Moon.

MTV VMAs Live Feed

MTV Shows

Mommy Magic

I wrote this poem for my mom on Mother's Day. I put together an album of pictures with me and my brother and put this poem as the cover. :)

You have always been here
to wash and fix our hair;
to deal with all the messes
and lighten our despair.
You have always been here
to share all happy news;
to calm our fears and dry our eyes
when we have the blues.
You have Mommy Magic
that fixes cuts and scrapes;
it even fixes sadness
when our hearts deeply ache.
You're a special mommy,
there's no doubt that's true.
You're filled with love and magic
and that's why we love you.

Roses

She looks around the room
And finally finds it;
What wasn't there before.
She spots the blood- red rose
Wound in black satin ribbon.
Slowly she glides toward it,
Hand outstretched.
Wanting to grasp it,
To be sure it's really there,
But scared as well.
Scared of the truth.
If the ribbon and rose are there,
Then it means he is not.
That he never will be.
She grabs it and holds it to her heart,
Sobbing for the reality.
She screams and rushes from the room.
She runs away from the place
Of so much anger and hate,
But also of so much love.
She runs away, but does not escape
For she still carries the sign.
The sign of her loss.
She runs to the lake and sees
Her real bloody rose
No longer breathing,
Still clutching her picture
And the ruby- hilted dagger.
She screams and grabs it,
Turning it on herself.
She plunges it into her own body
And falls beside him,
Never letting go of her roses.
She clutches them both tighter
Sobs, "I love you"
And draws one last breath,
Never letting go.